1/25/2006 07:27:00 p.m.|W|P|Susan|W|P|As I begin to write this, my aunt's funeral is happening in Fredericton, New Brunswick. I am five timezones too far away at this moment.
This was expected. She had battled hard against bone cancer these past few years, and survived longer than the doctors expected. She was a fighter.
I hope that everyone there will hear the words, "I am the resurrection and the life." My aunt is more alive than ever now. I mourn her loss, but cannot wish her back again. She is beyond all pain and tears now, and perfectly healed - not just from the cancer but from absolutely everything. She now knows fully, even as she is fully known.
This morning we could see none of the mountains at all. There was so much fog we couldn't see to the other side of the field.
The sun came out later, and not only were the Jura hills visible but also, for the first time since I got here, Mont Blanc and the alps.
Fog and storm or not, visible or not, the mountains are always there. Some things don't change, regardless of whatever else around changes. Some truths hold true no matter how high the winds or devastating the destruction. At the heart of the universe is love. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. Death has been defeated.
These things don't always feel true, but they are true.
I pray for my uncle, in his loss and bewilderment and exhaustion. I pray for my cousins, for my parents. I pray for the grace to survive until it can get better than surviving.
Right now I am so very grateful that I get to speak with my husband tomorrow, and go home to him on Saturday. This too is grace. This is a gift.|W|P|113821434576889220|W|P|Right now|W|P|susan@carlens.se1/24/2006 10:39:00 p.m.|W|P|Susan|W|P|Those aren't the alps I see out my window; they are the Jura hills.
(They look like mountains to me. Although this afternoon one of the women took the extra-long way to the bank, above the snowline in the hills, so that I could see Mont Blanc and the alps, unimpeded by the fog from Lake Geneva. Okay. Those are mountains.)
Last night after dinner Jonathan, age 5, came up to me and shyly asked, "Do you know that in 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' there's a girl called Susan?" I replied, "Yes, and she has a sister called Lucy and two brothers called Peter and Edmund." He grinned from ear to ear when I said that.
Homework finally done, I'm off to bed. I know it; in this case, lack of knowledge is not the problem. How that is ever to make its way into my heart has been an unanswered question for many years.|W|P|113813917403657469|W|P|Point of information|W|P|susan@carlens.se1/23/2006 06:05:00 p.m.|W|P|Susan|W|P|After two delayed trains, a delayed flight, and travel in four countries, I am in France.
I am in the village of Tutegny, about a kilometre (as the crow flies) from the Swiss border.
I arrived last night after dark and so had no idea of my surroundings. This morning, when I opened my curtains, there the alps were, just sitting there being splendid and majestic. And the One who made them is even bigger and more splendid.
This ranks as my second best 'open the curtains in the morning and be overwhelmed by how beautiful it is out there' moment. The first was Venice in April. But this is definitely second.
If the fog clears out the other side, Mont Blanc will be visible. I'm hoping for that sometime this week.
I'm here for a few days of rest and reflection. I am currently in about five kinds of transition and need some help processing it all.
Grace and peace to all of us.|W|P|113803626461801873|W|P|Alps out my window|W|P|susan@carlens.se1/24/2006 04:02:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|Hey Susan,
I know its really difficult to transition. I'm in that place again with giving up my job. Unemployment sucks big time but God is soo much bigger and just know the he believes in you and so do I!! I know you'll do great in this next phase of life!! Sending you a Really Big Hug!!
Much Love
Susan H1/05/2006 04:18:00 a.m.|W|P|Susan|W|P|I am now a certified barista.
I took my test this morning. I knew the theory bits cold - how many grams go into all the different kinds of espresso shots, how long each shot takes to drop, and lots of other stuff as well.
But the practical is the key. Barista standard is one perfect drink in 90 seconds and two perfect drinks in two minutes.
After some practice yesterday with the whipped cream cannister (the angle is the key) I made my hot chocolate with perfect whipped cream seal in 78 seconds.
Then came the latte and cappuccino. I finished in good time, and the latte looked really good. The cappuccino looked good too, but it had to weigh 240 - 270 grams. My weight: 278. So no go.
Take two, which I was told yesterday I could have if necessary. This time I had only two seconds to spare, and my latte needed a bit more milk - it was good, but needed to be up a couple more centimetres.
This time the cappuccino, though, was a thing of beauty, and weighed in at 266 grams.
Woo hoo! I'm a barista!
After a day and a half of feeling quite nervous, I felt great after that. I am so thankful to have accomplished that. I am so thankful that my manager was willing to take the time with me to make it possible, even though I only have two shifts left.
I have no idea if I will ever use this particular set of skills again. But it has been a nice challenge, and I have learned a lot. That is worth celebrating.
Two more shifts...|W|P|113643158215072443|W|P|Certifiable|W|P|susan@carlens.se1/06/2006 03:04:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Hey Susan H.
It was sooo good to see you and Anders the other week. Hope you had an awesome Christmas and New Year. I did!! Would Like to get together with you one more time before you go back to Sweeden if there is time.
Have a wonderful Birthday tomorrow!!
Take care
Much Love
Susan H.
|W|P|Hey Susan,